HOW TO SURVIVE THE FIRST MOTHERS DAY WITHOUT MOM

May 1, 2023

The second Sunday in May, usually a time of celebration and family, can be the opposite for someone who has recently lost their mom. Mother’s Day can be difficult when our mother is no longer with us. The first Mother’s Day without your mom can seem almost impossible to navigate. Emotions can be raw and messy, and it may feel overwhelming to consider how to get through the day. Surviving the first Mother’s Day without your mother will not be easy. Even though this day will never feel the same, we hope these tips will help you feel empowered to navigate the day in a way that works for you. 

  • Acknowledge your feelings. You feel what you feel. Don’t judge your emotions. Don’t let the expectations of others or your own expectations for the day dictate your emotions. Trying to be strong and hide your true feelings is not healthy. Grief is a personal journey, travel it at your own pace. It’s OK to feel sad, angry, and overwhelmed. It’s also OK to seek support. While anxiety and sadness are normal reactions to loss, seek help if they seem severe, disabling or are impacting your key roles at home, work, or school. 
  • Write her a Mother’s Day card. Sharing how you feel about your mother and what she meant to you can help you find comfort and refocus on being grateful for the time you did have together. Writing her a card will give you the opportunity to say again the things you might have said a hundred times or wished you had said one more time. Remember, her spirit lives within your memory of her, the words you write will prove she, in a way, is still with you.
  • Reclaim the day for you. Whether you are a mother yourself or not, reclaim and celebrate yourself or another significant female you love. Focus on the present moment with those you love. Send yourself flowers, eat way too much candy, do something that you love that lifts your spirits. Make this day about self-love, your mom would not want you to face this day with sadness and pain. Find the strength she instilled in you and the love she had and celebrate someone special, you. She would want you to have a great day. 
  • Surround yourself with loved ones. Let others sweep you up in their love for you. Being in the company of others can help you feel less alone or isolated. It could be relatives who also loved your mom, allowing you to celebrate her memory. Or you could spend time with friends doing something you enjoy together completely unrelated to Mother’s Day. Spending the day with others can help uplift you from feeling the heavy impact of loss and help distract you from the meaning of the day.
  • It’s OK To Do Nothing. If any type of activity or celebration seems like it might be too much, then it’s OK to say No. It’s OK to simply skip Mother’s Day. If you decide to ignore the day, then be careful not to stumble upon reminders. It may be helpful to stay off social media which is likely to be filled with posts of happy family celebrations. Find something you can get lost in, like going to the movies, hiking in the park, attending a local sports event, or even taking on a task like organizing your closets. 


As the second Sunday in May approaches, it will help to plan how you will manage the day. The only real rules are to be kind to yourself and to set no expectations. You will get through it; the day will pass, and you will come out the other side knowing that you survived – and that will feel powerful. 


Ascend offers help and comfort to those grieving the loss of a loved one through grief services, programs, and annual tribute events. Reach out to the
Ascend location nearest to you for additional information. 


June 30, 2025
A few months ago, beloved actor Gene Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa, were found deceased in their New Mexico home. Investigators believe Arakawa passed away first—possibly up to a week before Hackman. Shortly before her death, she had reached out to a local clinic . Later, Hackman’s pacemaker data helped confirm the timeline of his own passing. The medical examiner determined that Arakawa died from hantavirus pulmonary syndrome , a rare and dangerous respiratory illness transmitted by rodents. Hackman died from advanced heart disease , with Alzheimer’s disease contributing to his decline. Experts suggest that his cognitive impairment likely prevented him from recognizing Arakawa’s death—or, if he did realize it, he may have experienced confusion, heartbreak, and helplessness before ultimately passing away himself. We may consider Gene Hackman’s last role to be his final lesson, a wake-up call for caregivers and families. It’s a profoundly tragic story—one that reflects a reality many families quietly face. As our loved ones age, especially when one becomes the caregiver, a sudden health crisis can leave the other stranded in a dangerous situation. What Can We Learn? This heartbreaking story offers more than grief—it offers perspective. It’s a reminder to be proactive, observant, and involved in the lives of aging loved ones. Here’s ways we can help. 1. Know the Conditions Affecting Your Loved Ones In Hackman’s case, the central health challenges were heart disease and Alzheimer’s. Recognizing the signs of heart trouble—chest pain, fatigue, breathlessness—and understanding how dementia can mask or confuse those symptoms is critical. 2. Caregivers Need Care Too When the caregiver goes down, the one who relies on them is suddenly exposed. Arakawa’s sudden illness likely left Hackman alone, disoriented, and unable to seek help. Caregivers often suffer in silence, pushing past their limits. Regular check-ins and support for them are just as essential. 3. A Simple Visit Can Save a Life A timely visit from a friend or relative might have changed the outcome. Subtle signs—rodent activity, spoiled food, confusion, hygiene issues—could have triggered help before it was too late. Don’t underestimate the power of simply showing up. What to Watch For: A Family Checklist If you have aging parents, relatives, or friends, here are some key areas to keep an eye on: Physical Health • Sudden weight loss or gain • Bruises, burns, or signs of falls • Unkempt appearance or body odor • Difficulty walking or standing Cognitive & Emotional Well-being • Memory loss or repeating questions • Depression, anxiety, or social withdrawal • Unsafe behavior such as leaving appliances on • Unusual mail or phone activity Home Conditions • Spoiled food, pest presence, or clutter • Safety hazards (dim lighting, loose rugs) • Appliances or plumbing not working Nutrition & Kitchen Safety • Expired food or low food supply • Dirty or neglected kitchen tools • Avoiding cooking altogether Medication Compliance • Confused about medications or missed doses • Expired or improperly labeled prescriptions Social Interaction • Isolation or reluctance to leave the house • Loss of interest in hobbies or community involvement Financial Awareness • Unpaid bills or unopened mail • Signs of financial exploitation or scams Tech & Communication • Can they use a phone in an emergency? • Are they responsive to calls or messages? What To Do If You Notice a Problem If you see red flags, don’t panic—but don’t ignore them either. Start with an honest, caring conversation. Explain that your concern comes from love, not judgment. Then, consider next steps: • Schedule a check-up with their doctor • Bring in help, even part-time support • Assess whether the home needs modifications • Explore new living arrangements if necessary Whether it’s weekly dinners, video chats, or simple texts—stay involved–consistent contact keeps you in tune with your loved ones’ needs and builds a safety net they may not even know they need. Final Thought If Gene Hackman’s last role is to serve as a final lesson, it’s a wake-up call for caregivers and families. Gene Hackman’s final days are a sobering reminder: Don’t wait until something goes wrong. Aging can be beautiful—but it also comes with risk, especially in solitude. Let this story motivate you to reconnect, check in, and truly see how your loved ones are doing. Additional Resources: Learn more about Congestive Heart Failure: https://www.ascendhealth.com/caring-for-a-loved-one-with-chf-this-summer https://www.ascendhealth.com/caring-for-a-loved-one-with-chf Learn more about dementia and Alzheimer’s disease: https://www.ascendhealth.com/alzheimers-caregiving-7-signs-its-time-for-extra-support https://www.ascendhealth.com/coping-with-alzheimers-anxiety-and-depression Need a health or safety assessment for a loved one? Contact Us or call today.
May 27, 2025
Honoring your dad on Father’s Day after he has passed can be a meaningful and healing experience. Here are ten ways to remember and celebrate him: 1 - Wear or Carry Something of His – A watch, a shirt, a piece of jewelry—something that belonged to him can provide comfort and keep his presence close. 2 - Dedicate a Song or Playlist – Create a playlist of songs that remind you of moments you’ve shared together. 3 - Recreate a moment in time – Recreate a favorite memory (fishing trip, movie night, road trip) 4 - Plan a Dad’s night out - plan an outing to one of his favorite places. It could be a restaurant, a game, or simply a scenic spot. 5 - Plan a Dad’s night in - Invite family and friends over to reminisce and serve a buffet of his favorite foods. 6 - Build Something Meaningful - if you’re good with your hands, build something he would have liked. If you’re not you can always buy something like a bird house and mount it outside in his honor or have a memory bear made from some of his favorite clothes. 7 - Frame Something – buy a store-bought frame or go to a frame shop. Frame a quote, his quote or one that he liked. Or frame a photo of one of his favorite things like a sports team photo, a movie scene image, or a favorite athlete or musician. 8 - Create a Video or Slideshow – Gather old photos and videos, and compile them into a slideshow with music that he loved. 9 - Honor His Legacy – Start an interactive tradition in his honor like a family gathering, storytelling night, or community service. 10 - Plant Forget-me-nots in a favorite place or deliver potted Forget-me-nots to others that miss him too. No matter how you choose to honor your dad, focus on the love you have for him and realize and embrace that he loved you. He wouldn’t want you to cry all day, he would want you to smile and remember the good moments. Read also how to survive your first Father’s day without Dad .