Coping With Dementia: 10 steps to gain more cooperation with simple tasks
How can we increase the level of cooperation we get from a loved one coping with dementia? A loved one with dementia may resist simple routines that we, as caregivers, need for them to complete so they can maintain proper hygiene or enable us to run a household. It may be a simple task, like taking a shower or getting dressed - or brushing their teeth before they go to bed.
A good way to start is to recognize that we are about to face a challenge. Like any challenge we face, it’s best to get ready before we begin. Be prepared! Gather everything that will be needed to complete the task and arrange those things in the order that they’ll be needed. Be sure to have everything at hand that will be needed when the task is completed. For instance, are we brushing our teeth in the morning? Have the bathing set up as the next task or be ready to dress and go to the dining table.
Have patience, remember that this will take longer than normal. Budgeting more time will reduce your own stress, and that is key in reducing theirs. Remember, they are cognitively disabled. It’s frequently not that they’re resisting your instructions, it’s simply that they are having difficulty processing them - it will take them longer to understand and cooperate than normal. One of our biggest goals is to avoid making them feel pressured, rushed or agitated.
Maintaining this level of structure will be comforting to your loved one and will decrease confusion and stress. It will also reduce distractions that might be inadvertently introduced by being less than organized.
We may be doing something simple, but it’s no longer simple to a loved one suffering from dementia. Have you ever assembled a piece of furniture from IKEA? Keep that in mind – you needed step by step instructions. Did they always make sense as you progressed? Nope. Did you ever get frustrated? You bet. This is the same thing.
Give them simple steps, one step at a time. Think from a new perspective. “Let’s go brush our teeth,” doesn’t really lead them to beginning or completion. How about:
1 - let’s go to the bathroom
2 - can you stand in front of the sink?
3 - let’s rinse your toothbrush - we need to make sure it’s clean!
4 - perhaps try doing your own side by side as an example
5 - can you open the toothpaste now?
6 - squeeze a line of toothpaste onto your brush, like this, see?
7 - now, put the toothbrush into your mouth, brush like I’m doing
8 - top now - left side, center, now on the right - inside, like this
9 - bottom now - left side, center, now on the right - inside, like this
10 - now, we’re almost done. Take your brush and rinse it
11 - put the brush back into the holder
12 - put some water in the cup
13 - now just rinse your mouth
14 - spit the water back into the sink
Try to let them do as much on their own as possible. It will build confidence and reduce their stress, step in and help as needed. You’ll see for yourself how deeply you need to break down tasks and learn from their responses when to help, praise or comfort. Try not to take over and do steps for them when they may be able to complete the step themselves. If they are able, that may convey impatience. We’re trying to encourage a sense of competency and autonomy - even if a step is not taken perfectly.
To learn more about dementia and Alzheimer’s disease follow these links.
1 - https://www.ascendhealth.com/coping-with-alzheimers-anxiety-and-depression
2 - https://www.ascendhealth.com/alzheimers-caregiving-7-signs-its-time-for-extra-support
3 - creating dementia-friendly documents https://bit.ly/3H9g6WD
Our teams offer specialized care for those living with end-stage dementia and Alzheimer’s. Our supportive team focuses on improving quality of life and easing the distressing burdens of Alzheimer’s and related dementias. Learn more about how we can help bring comfort and support by reaching out to a member of our compassionate team.

