COPING WITH A LIFE LIMITING ILLNESS
June 30, 2023
When diagnosed with a life threatening illness our world shifts. Time becomes thought of ‘before’ the illness to ‘after the news.’ Your world feels as if it’s been thrown off kilter, and spinning out of control. You may feel completely lost, like swimming in a deep ocean where you can’t see the shore. But there are ways to learn to cope with the emotional distress, regain a sense of control and preserve your quality of life. It’s important to realize that you are not powerless. There are ways to help you cope with the stress, fear, hopelessness, anger and sense of having no control over your life. Learning coping techniques can help you navigate these difficult emotions and find a way forward. In this blog we share techniques for coping with a life limiting illness.
- Understand Your Emotions. Many of us are taught that emotions like fear, anger, and depression are a negative reflection on ourselves and should be avoided. But when living with a life threatening illness these emotions are normal and even expected. Understanding and acknowledging your emotions, rather than denying them, will be important to your ability to live better with your illness. By accepting your emotions you can learn coping techniques to help move past these unsettling feelings, where repressing them will simply allow them to build and potentially become overwhelming. Allowing yourself to feel what you feel, exploring why you feel this way will let the emotion pass. Talk to your physician about coping techniques like meditation, or taking a deep breath and becoming grounded in what’s around you - what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch. Learning that you can overcome difficult emotions will help you feel less overwhelmed by them next time.
- Accept The Uncertainty. When you’re diagnosed with a potentially life-limiting illness you feel like you are living with a lot of uncertainty. It is so easy to get stuck focusing on the “what if’s”. Learning to know how to deal with the uncertainty of your future can feel impossible and overwhelming. How do you possibly move forward when worrying about what might happen? You move forward by focusing on today, on the now. Worrying about what might happen won’t give you more predictability about your future or any more control. But it will most certainly rob you of today and the good things you are still able to enjoy. Focus on the present.
- Let Others Uplift You. Living with a life-limiting illness can feel isolating. It’s easy to feel like no one will really understand because they are not living it. You should not carry this burden alone. Social support helps us feel less helpless in general and especially when battling illness. There is an abundance of evidence suggesting social support is linked with lower depression1, lower anxiety, and lower hopelessness levels among depressed patients2. Social support enhances quality of life and provides a buffer against adverse life events. Find a few, or even one, family member or friend you can confide in and lean on. Let others uplift you during this very difficult journey.
- Be Gentle To Yourself. Our self image can easily crumble when dealing with a serious illness. Your image of yourself may change. You may have considered yourself strong, brave, and fearless before your diagnosis. You may feel you are not a whole person anymore, but have become lessened by the conditions of your illness. Realize that you are learning to deal with a new normal, one that may have been completely out of the blue and unexpected. Our character is built from our past experiences, challenges and adversities that we’ve handled in life. It becomes our roadmap for life. But this is all new, it is like nothing you have experienced before. It will take time to learn to adjust, so be gentle with yourself if you feel you are not as strong or brave or fearless as you were. You will learn to live with your illness and adjust to your new normal, you will find your way back to yourself.
- Find New Joy. Reconnecting to what brings you meaning, purpose and joy will also help you feel less defined by your illness. Embracing what gives your life meaning will help you regain the sense of self and purpose that you may feel you have lost. If you cannot enjoy some of the activities you once loved because of your medical condition, you can still find pastimes that will enrich your life. Explore new hobbies or new experiences - nature, the arts, crafting, writing, baking, or even volunteering. Find something that will nourish your soul.
When life expectancy becomes limited, our hospice team offers comfort and care at a most sensitive time. We encourage patients to strengthen connections, have important conversations and embrace the time spent with loved ones during the transition to this important stage. Our personalized holistic approach to hospice care includes relief of pain and symptoms, as well as emotional and spiritual support for patients and their loved ones. Coping with a life threatening illness may be difficult, but you don’t have to do it alone. We hope these techniques will help, and remember, reaching out for help can make a world of difference.
1 - Social support and protection from depression: systematic review of current findings in Western countries. Published online by Cambridge University Press: 02 January 2018
2 - The Importance of Social Support in Mental Health, BENSON MUNYAN, PH.D., July 16, 2021
Losing a mother is never easy, and Mother’s Day can be an emotional time. Honoring her memory in meaningful ways can bring comfort and keep her spirit alive. Here are ten thoughtful ways to honor the memory of Mom this Mother’s Day: 1. Visit Her Resting Place Spend time at her gravesite or memorial, bringing fresh flowers, her favorite items, or just sitting and reflecting on her love and legacy. 2. Cook Her Favorite Meal Prepare a dish she loved or a recipe she passed down. Sharing a meal in her honor can be a comforting way to feel close to her. 3. Write Her a Letter Express how much you miss her, update her on your life, or share a special memory. Writing can be a powerful way to process emotions and keep her close. 4. Light a Candle in Her Memory Lighting a candle in her honor can be a quiet, reflective way to feel her presence and express your love. 5. Look Through Old Photos & Videos Take time to revisit cherished moments by flipping through photo albums or watching home videos . It’s a beautiful way to celebrate her life and legacy. 6. Do Something She Loved Whether it’s gardening, painting, reading, or taking a walk in nature, engaging in her favorite activities can be a meaningful tribute. 7. Make a Donation in Her Name Give to a charity or cause she cared about . It’s a wonderful way to extend her kindness and make a difference in her honor. 8. Create a Memory Book or Scrapbook Compile photos, letters, and stories into a scrapbook or digital memory book that keeps her spirit alive for future generations. 9. Plant a Tree or Flowers in Her Honor Planting something in her memory can be a lasting tribute, symbolizing growth, love, and the continuation of her legacy. 10. Spend Time with Family & Share Stories Gather with loved ones to reminisce, share stories, and celebrate the love she gave. Keeping her memory alive through storytelling can be healing and uplifting. No matter how you choose to honor your mom, the most important thing is to celebrate the love and impact she had on your life. We hope these 10 ways to honor the memory of Mom this Mother’s Day helps readers celebrate this Mother’s Day. Also read here about surviving the first Mother’s Day without Mom .
Our expert care enriches life by controlling symptoms and managing pain, while also caring for the mind and spirit. Hospice often becomes a choice when you or a loved one is seeking relief from frequent emergency room visits or are physically or emotionally tired of challenging treatments that no longer have a positive impact on life expectancy or quality of life. Serious illness affects more than just a loved one. So, our support extends to family caregivers . We become an extra layer of support by sharing our experience and resources to ensure that you and your loved ones feel prepared by knowing what to expect as illness progresses. We also help you feel less overwhelmed by sharing in some of the responsibilities of the day-to-day care of your loved one. We also understand the worry that comes with serious illness. When a loved one is living with a serious illness, a price can’t be put on peace of mind. Here 12 things that are important to understand about hospice. 1 - Hospice is a philosophy of care that treats a person rather than the disease. Hospice is a complete and cohesive program of medical care and emotional/spiritual support to improve the quality of life for patients facing a life-limiting illness. 2 - When treatment is no longer effective or desired, hospice care can be provided for pain relief and symptom control , along with emotional and spiritual support for patients and loved ones. 3 - Hospice care takes a holistic approach focusing on both physical and emotional health. 4 - In most cases, a family member serves as the primary caregiver and helps make decisions for their loved one. 5 - The caregiver works with our team to develop a plan of care to provide treatment, support, and personal care. 6 - Your physician remains in charge of the overall medical care, we become a part of his team. 7 - Hospice isn’t giving up. It’s finding comfort and dignity after you’ve been told nothing more can be done. 8 - You are free to leave a hospice program at any time for any reason without penalty. You can re-enroll in a hospice program any time that you meet the medical eligibility criteria. 9 - Medications and medical interventions are used regularly to control pain and symptoms. 10 - Hospice patients live an average of 29 days longer than those that do not receive hospice care. 11 - Hospice care is provided anywhere your loved one lives, including private residences, assisted living communities, and long-term care facilities. 12 - Our care is covered by Medicare, Medicaid, and most private insurance companies. We understand that choosing to stop curative treatments and begin care and comfort services can be overwhelming. If you have questions like ' is now the right time’ or if you wonder ‘when will the right time be”, you can call and speak to one of our clinical directors. An Ascend nurse or social worker can meet with you and your family members and provide information on all of the services available to you. Once you are ready your physician, our team of nurses, our medical director, and our chaplains, social workers, and aides will be with you and your family on every part of your journey ensuring that your care and comfort are our first priority.